week twenty-four

week twenty-four - 20/12/2011

little drops of rain, whispers of the pain

week twenty-three

week twenty-three - 13/12/2011

"if the sun refused to shine, i would still be loving you."

jac

I'm writing this post a month later, but I still need to put it here. A month ago, a wonderful human, a gorgeous friend and entirely good egg was taken from this life. Way too soon. Way too unexpectedly. I know I have had a lot of trouble reconciling that fact - she can't be gone. It can't be real.

I've lost of lot of my words that I wanted to put into this post. A lot of it got eaten up by the xmas humdrum, a lot by the fact that I can barely even remember what I've done for the last month. I've forgotten how to feel, how to love and how to react to perfectly normal and every day occurrences. I stare at my computer screen, waiting. This is fairly typical for me when I'm in a funk. I shut down. Completely. Can't hold a conversation. Can't put together a meal that requires more thought than putting fish fingers in the oven. My entire being is missing a big chunk. There's a void that will never be replaced. And it's hard for me to admit how much it hurts while I know full well that others are hurting in a way that is much more amplified.

I will never forget. I will always remember your quirk. Your zest. Your fuck-off-ness. Your awesomeness. And I know I'm not the only one. Rest easy my friend.